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Wednesday, August 13, 2014

How I came to go to Sturgis!




Several months ago I made friends with an amazing guy- we would share war stories, trials and tribulations. We both loved to shag ( get your mind out f the gutter- it is a DANCE)- and quickly we became dance partners,
and began dating. It didn't take long for him to have my heart- (For those of you have read this blog- you know that my heart was shattered a few years ago- ) Anyway I digress-

So one Monday night as we were leaving the Summerville shag event, somehow the subject turned to motorcycles. It seems that Joe had ridden prior- and we all know me- Harley momma- we both were discussing our bucket list when Joe asked ‘You want to go to Sturgis?’ and a plan was hatched. While he was gone on his ship, I would pull things together, I still need a rain suit.

The map claimed 1800 miles one way, we found a campground- Joe BOUGHT a bike, yes bought a bike, we had a trailer- the only thing standing in my way was work- Joe and I decided we would rather spend time together and I left a job I liked a LOT, but was not in love with- Joe really is my heart- 

So on a hot muggy Friday, we packed my truck and trailer-
and at midnight- pulled out for our adventure. I can’t begin to describe the nerves in my stomach- would my truck be ok? would my trailer have a flat tire, would the bikes make it, did I make the right decision leaving my job- Holding hands with Joe as we traveled cross country made all my fears abate-

We cruised thru North Carolina- where I told him to never stop to buy gas, Tennessee, where we stopped in Knoxville - Go Vols, got thru Kentucky quickly and then into Illinios- land of cornfields and soybeans,  
( Yes I am a corn thief  then into Missouri where I got to see the arch and Busch Stadium.      

We made our way to Nebraska and the WORST storm I have ever been in (but missed seeing Sam) and finally to South Dakota., and then finally STURGIS!


So you know-  we camped in my trailer- and thank goodness- when it rained we stayed dry- had the cutest port a john- and could hear the concerts at the Buffalo Chip……



For the record- 
South Dakotians are the BEST- very honest, and accommodating people- 

The Full Throttle- is a shit hole that waters down their drinks- watch this year- bet you see Michael Ballard hollering about the storms, not being able to pay for the bar and Motley Crue not being able to play- 
Lamphere’s Campground is AWESOME- And Russ Lamphere and his wife- two of the finest people I have ever met- 

Yes we went to Bridal Veil falls, Mt Rushmore and Crazy Horse, as well as Rapid City, and I got to visit with Lynn Isenhour -






Friday, May 23, 2014

Gone with the Wind

I don't really know what google did- but in the blink of an eye, my blog was gone - without so much as a warning- needless to say, I was upset- I mean these have been my thoughts, my writings, my musings since 2010- Thanks to Eduardo @ google for helping me restore my site and my words-

Saturday, March 15, 2014

Not a lot I miss

Ohhh, I miss the misery!

I've been a mess since you stayed,
I've been a wreck since you changed,
Don't let me get in your way,
I miss the lies and the pain,
The fights that keep us awake-ake-ake
I'm tellin you!

I miss the bad things,
The way you hate me,
I miss the screaming,
The way that you blame me!
Miss the phone calls,
When it's your fault,
I miss the late nights,
Don't miss you at all!
I like the kick in the face,
And the things you do to me!
I love the way that it hurts!
I don't miss you, I miss the misery!

I've tried but I just can't take it,
I'd rather fight than just fake it (cause I like it
Rough),
You know that I've had enough,
I dare ya to call my bluff,
Can't take to much of a good thing
I'm tellin you!

I miss the bad things,
The way you hate me,
I miss the screaming,
The way that you blame me!
Miss the phone calls,
When it's your fault,
I miss the late nights,
Don't miss you at all!
I like the kick in the face,
And the things you do to me!
I love the way that it hurts!
I don't miss you, I miss the misery!

Just know that I'll make you hurt,
(I miss the lies and the pain what you did to me)
When you tell me you'll make it worse
(I'd rather fight all night than watch the TV)
I hate that feelin inside
You tell me how hard you'll try
But when we're at our worst
I miss the misery

I miss the bad things,
The way you hate me,
I miss the screaming,
The way that you blame me.

I miss the rough sex,
Leaves me a mess,
I miss the feeling of pains in my chest!
Miss the phone calls,
When it's your fault,
I miss the late nights,
Don't miss you at all!
I like the kick in the face,
And the things you do to me!
I love the way that it hurts!
I don't miss you, I miss the misery!

Friday, March 7, 2014

I let you go-

Yesterday I saw the sun shinin',
And the leaves were fallin' down softly,
My cold hands needed a warm, warm touch,
And I was thinkin' about you.

Here I am lookin' for signs of leaving,
You hold my hand, but do you really need me?
I guess it's time for me to let you go,
And I've been thinkin' about you,
I've been thinkin' about you.

When you sail across the ocean waters,
And you reach the other side safely,
Could you smile a little smile for me?
'cause I'll be thinkin' about you,

\

Sunday, March 2, 2014

SO DONE!


You've been wearing that crown and tearing me down
It's been a while since you've treated me right
You strung me along for far too long cause I never gave up the fight
Until now

It's gonna hit you hard 'til you see stars
It’s gonna put you through a world of hurt
Oh, I don't believe in getting even but giving what you deserve
Oh my, oh my, huh.

Mama always told me that I should play nice
She didn't know you when she gave me that advice
I'm through with you
You're one bridge I'd like to burn
Bottle up the ashes, smash the urn
I'm through with you, la dee da

I don't wanna be your "just for fun",
Don't wanna be under your thumb
All I wanna be is done
Done

You crossed the line too many times,
I'm gonna put you in your place
You play with dynamite, don't be surprised
When I blow up in your face
Oh my, oh my, huh.

Mama always told me that I should play nice
But she didn't know you when she gave me that advice
I'm through with you
You're one bridge I'd like to burn
Bottle up the ashes, smash the urn
I'm through with you, la dee da

I don't wanna be part of your fun,
Don't wanna be under your thumb
All I wanna be is done

 with your selfish ways
and all the games you play
I'm through with you and everything you say

Ta!

Mama told me that I should play nice
She didn't know you when she gave me that advice

Mama always told me that I should play nice
But she didn't know you when she gave me that advice
I'm through with you
You're one bridge I'd like to burn
Scatter the ashes, smash the urn
I'm through with you, la dee da

I don't wanna be your "just for fun",
Don't wanna be under your thumb
All I wanna be is done
All I wanna be is done
Ugh!

Hey, hey, hey , hey ooh,
I wanna be done
So done
So done


Thanks to the Band Perry for saying it!- DONE!

Saturday, February 1, 2014

On Lonliness

Loneliness is a complex and usually unpleasant emotional response to isolation or lack of companionship. Loneliness typically includes anxious feelings about a lack of connectedness or communality with other beings, both in the present and extending into the future. As such, loneliness can be felt even when surrounded by other people.

No one understands the loneliness that I feel. I can be in a room full of people and feel isolated and all alone. I am nonexistent, invisible. I crave companionship of a human, a friend, of someone who can truly understand what I am going through, and empathize with the feelings that I am feeling on a daily basis.

I don't need any kind of charity friendship. I don't need anything that is fake or fictitious or that is make-believe. Just once, I crave that one on one connection where someone truly understands what I need, that I am human, that I hurt, and that I cry.

 I am so tired of plastering of smile on my face while watching everybody else have a good time. Just once, I want to have a good time.

I think I need to turn my endeavors inward, because as long as I turn them outward I think I'll always be disappointed. I hope someday I can make myself truly happy.







Until I sleep.........






Where do I take this pain of mine
I run, but it stays right my side

So tear me open, pour me out
There's things inside that scream and shout
And the pain still hates me
So hold me, until it sleeps

Just like the curse, just like the stray
You feed it once, and now it stays

So tear me open, but beware
There's things inside without a care
And the dirt still stains me
So wash me, until I'm clean
It grips you, so hold me
It stains you, so hold me
It hates you, so hold me
It holds you, so hold me

Until it sleeps

So tell me why you've chosen me
Don't want your grip, don't want your greed

I'll tear me open, make you gone
No more can you hurt anyone
And the fear still shakes me
So hold me, until it sleeps

It grips you, so hold me
It stains you, so hold me
It hates you, so hold me
It holds you, so hold me

Until it sleeps



I don't want it

So tear me open, but beware
The things inside without a care
And the dirt still stains me
So wash me, 'till I'm clean...

I'll tear me open, make you gone
No longer will you hurt anyone
And the hate still shapes me
So hold me, until it sleeps...

Until it sleeps...

Friday, January 31, 2014

My Wall







Well,  I have spent years building this wall of mine.  Brick by brick, I put up the wall; its mortar representing a painful emotional experience I have gone through.  It has slowly become my security blanket and just like the Peanut’s character Linus, I carry it with me everywhere I go.  It has become my comfort zone and where I feel safest.  I constantly fight to keep it around me but for some reason the mortar has begun to crumble and the bricks are showing signs of wear and tear. Cracks are forming and this terrifies me to no end.  I scramble to rebuild my wall and this time to make it stronger and to make myself immune from more pain.


Sunday, January 26, 2014











Never have I been treated this well
like a princess-
waiting for the balloon to burst, the
other shoe to drop-
No one this incredible happens to me-
I sure hope I am Cinderella this time.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Can't stand still

Trying to stand still for the first time in a while. My brain always lets me know when it is time to start running again. Long runs to no where, but enough to create distance from what ever is haunting me at the time.

The last time I tried to stand still, I had my feet yanked out from under me and ended up flat on my back. Too old, and too wise to go land on my back again. 


Time to put on my Newtons, and start running……won't stop this time.