Friday, April 16, 2010

The Bird

It was a busy weekend this past Saturday and Sunday. As usual, I was working the 7p to 7a shift in the ER watching what I like to refer to as the parade of fools- The people who have no sense- the 2 AM emergency pregnancy test, the 4 am- 'I need this boil lanced' and the all night- 'My kid has a fever and I have no money for tylenol' parents. I was planning on sleeping Saturday all day, however Mark's daughter had a JROTC event in Greensboro. Being as she is a senior and it was her last one, I felt compelled to go. I was able to catch a nap Saturday afternoon and watched the parade part 2 Saturday night.

By Sunday morning, I was beat. Driving home was difficult at best as I live about 45 miles from the hospital I was at. I focused on the nice hot shower awaiting me followed by a nice big warm bed and 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I made it home without hitting anyone or falling asleep. After my wash the funk off shower I jumped in bed and cuddled up to Mark. He asked what time I wanted to get up and I told him around 430 or 5- and I drifted off to never never land.

I began to dream very vividly, which I rarely do- this was a flashback- I was about 10 and I was up late on a Friday night watching "The Birds" by Alfred Hitchcock with my mom. It was so surreal- I could almost feel her as I huddled close to her- probably the first scary movie I remember seeing. I could hear the flap of the wings and feel the air move as in my mind birds were swarming around. I could smell the scent of my home growing up and hear my moms voice.

At one point I felt something on my head- somewhere in my sub-concious- I probably thought it was Mark, waking me up from my slumber so I could get ready to do it again- and I brushed the sensation away. I continued to see and hear the birds- wings flapping frantically as the swooped and dove toward me.

Again I felt something on my head- altho this time it was different- like something pecking and nipping at my scalp. I forced myself awake only to realize that the sensation I felt, the wings I heard and the air that was moving was indeed due to a bird- a bird that somehow found its way into my bedroom. And it wasn't 430 or 5, it was freaking 935- I had been asleep an hour!

I dove under the covers and as the bird flew about my room in a crazed panic-stricken way, I heard my self scream. Trying to become rational- I thought to dive in my pocket book and grab the cell- call Mark who by this time was downstairs and awake. Pawing through lipstick and ipod and papers I realized my phone was no where in my purse, but still on the damn charger in the car- The bird continued to fly around my room and dive bomb me when ever I tried to get out of the bed.

I hollered several times and my darling Mark seemed to think it was the neighbor kids outside - if fact he was ready to go outside and tell them to shut up when he heard a blood curdling "Marrrrrrrrrrrkkkk!!!!" He rushed upstairs to see what I was in a panic about and laughed at me when I told him there was a bird in the room- he thought I was crazy til the damn thing dive bombed him. After about a half an hour with the help of a broom, a sheet and me under the covers, he was able to catch the beast and take him outside where he belonged.

It seems that the carriage house we live in has a chimney that once must have vented a wood stove- the owner had covered the opening to the chimney with a decorative metal piece. I never thought anything about it- Apparently a family of black birds now reside in said chimney and apparently one of them either got far down the space or saw a sliver of light and pushed the metal piece away so he could terrorize me in my sleep.

I tried to sleep the rest of the day, but the bird had unnerved me....I slept til 1. All I could imagine was the whole family of nasty black birds were going to come after me. As I got up , the bird added insult to injury as I noticed he crapped all over the place-He scored direct hits on the window, the duvet cover multiple times and my lampshade- not to mention Mark's desk I guess he had the sh*t scared out of him- for the record- my drawers were clean-

I worked last night- and when I came home to try and rest- all I could imagine was that damn bird again- I am thinking some cement to fix the chimney opening- or I guess I can to learn to sleep in the kitchen- that or hook up a wood stove and burn the damn birds out! Now THAT sounds like a plan!


Teri said...

HAHAHAHA! I remember this!