Saturday, February 1, 2014

On Lonliness

Loneliness is a complex and usually unpleasant emotional response to isolation or lack of companionship. Loneliness typically includes anxious feelings about a lack of connectedness or communality with other beings, both in the present and extending into the future. As such, loneliness can be felt even when surrounded by other people.

No one understands the loneliness that I feel. I can be in a room full of people and feel isolated and all alone. I am nonexistent, invisible. I crave companionship of a human, a friend, of someone who can truly understand what I am going through, and empathize with the feelings that I am feeling on a daily basis.

I don't need any kind of charity friendship. I don't need anything that is fake or fictitious or that is make-believe. Just once, I crave that one on one connection where someone truly understands what I need, that I am human, that I hurt, and that I cry.

 I am so tired of plastering of smile on my face while watching everybody else have a good time. Just once, I want to have a good time.

I think I need to turn my endeavors inward, because as long as I turn them outward I think I'll always be disappointed. I hope someday I can make myself truly happy.